Friday 10 October 2008

Bikram Bootcamp Yoga?


I have never felt so compelled to blog in my life. I have just tried my first ever American Bikram yoga class. Who was to know?

I knew it was in a heated studio. I knew I would sweat a lot.

What I did not not know was that the class was led by a man with blond crew cut, barking orders into a microphone mouth piece.

Nor did I know it was SADISTIC.

Here are some one liners that nearly made me burst out laughing - getting them down before I forget.

1. We do not serve cheese cake, we serve pain.
2. I said 45 DEGREES, that is half of 90. 45 (in loud bark).
3. It is meant to hurt.
4. Again, if you don't feel pain, it isn't working
5. I know you feel like you're having a heart attack -better to feel like that now than later in life.
6. Did I say you can take a water break? Did I? I did not. I will tell you when you can drink.
7. Do not get up and go to the bathroom. You get before or after. THAT IS IT.
8. Do not use water to shower yourself with, it is for drinking.

Apparently, I did quite well for a newby.

I hated every minute of it but was too scared to get up and leave. I could feel my heart pounding throughout the entire class, my ears went funny, I couldn't breathe, my head was spinning and all I kept thinking of -get me out, get me out.

The clock seemed hidden and remember the melting Salvador Dali clock -I am sure it was.

Never ever again.

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