Fun photos

I've been doing some of the African bush experience.

Yoga on the beach, meditation, mud baths, hippos and crocs (not all in the same spot clearly).

We flew in on a private plane. How damn decadent eh?

xxx

New Year...isn't it?

Happy New Year – resolutions and all…

The photo by the way is from Copenhagen - a very quiet stall myself and a colleague were running...

I got back to hot, sunny Kenya and I apologise for the mammoth silence – it wasn’t that I didn’t want to communicate but I got side tracked by work, work and more work and couldn’t face the computer again at night.

I won’t write retroactively but will start again from here.

The manager on my compound scuttled up to say hello. Perhaps more importantly to tell me my cheque had bounced actually, but let’s not fret over details. “You look different,” he said. Thinking he was going to tell me I looked more rested or well or something I waited expectantly. “You look more red,” he bellowed. “Sorry…?” “Normally you look white, now you look red,” he grinned.

Great. Not sure how to respond, I just smiled and thanked him.

I’ve also discovered why African wear their jeans so tight. I went to a market shopping, big, muddy, chaotic and cheap. You have to buy something. Of course. Racks of new jeans jump out but can one be assed trying them on in the mud. Nah.

So you pick up something you think fits. Don’t most women underestimate the size of their ass? Yup. Point made. You end up pouring yourself into something just a tad too tight. Skinny jeans were born here.

What else? It’s a bit surreal living here. Life. Not sure what it’s all about. Sometimes the lonliness feels like a big well of murky water that will drown me.

Other times I recall feeling like this wherever I lived in the world, but the distractions were more available.

Work is a bit tedious and political. Things still in limbo.

But , oh yes, my new Year’s resolution. New hobbies. Hence, tennis lessons once or twice a week. Loving it. Whacking balls hard. Thwack. Very good for the soul.

Til next time amigos

Been a while

Sorry folks, it's been a while - been incredibly busy mostly with work but also with meeting people, went away for a lovely sunny weekend in Mombasa with friends and danced on the beach with heady abandon and swam in the sea...glorious.

I went to the supermarket the other day. A man approached me. "Can I talk to you a minute.." No. I walk away. "Please" he says. "Madame is open." What? Let me just buy a shower curtain. He points at my crotch. The zip was wide open. Hmmmmn, ok...thanks...I carry on looking very interested again in shower curtains and ended up buying some kiddie with with bright yellow ducks...

OK - so I am driving from work late. Get stopped by a corrupt policeman. I now know you're supposed to carry on driving. Blah blah - he wants money. He gets none. But I get a lecture about insurance and not displaying it in the window...whatever....

I go the gym in my block. Manager is staring intently. Pissing me off. I come out. "Ms is very good at body shaping..." Hmmmmmn ....body shaping...I laugh out loud.

Then last night - I break down. Not fun in Nairobi. Smoke billowing out - hosepipe broke. Long tedious story but I get rescued - then asked if I want to go to dinner -people here sure have iniative...

But I've just returned from a fab dinner at a gorgeous friend's house - all ladies - all African except me - I laughed and laughed. These women are Phds, judges, non Kenyan, all of us are foreigners here and struggling with the same stuff. We are all cool strong women in a fab women's network looking it out for each other. Good stuff - I feel like a citizen of the world where race and colour has no distinction but we talk about life, love, men, jobs, friendships and the meaning of life.

XXXX

It's all relative

So the car I bought had no oil and no water in it.

Apart from being really irritated by this I thought I would call the garage to complain.

"Hi, it's Jo...do you have my log book yet and ..also..."

Before I managed to complain I was knocked back into silence.

"Yes - hi Jo - no sorry - no log book yet. My brother got hijacked on Friday. They held him up with a gun and stole the keys to the showroom. We're sorting things out now.."

What could I say?

Sorry about the hijacking. Must've been an unpleasant business.

Me, I'll just go and sort the car elsewhere I guess.

Nairobi. Things are different here.

x

Guns and shoes

I decided to talk to the Mall today - mistake - it's a hell of longer than I thought, I was sick and there are no roads to speak of. On the way I pass two security guards with very big menacing guns slung over their shoulder. They would've been scary as fk except they were avidly looking at shoes from a street vendor and it was somewhat incongruous.

Last night I drove home from work at a normal hour ie 1730 instead of when it's dark.

Wow what a difference. Snarly traffic, people lining up at the window to sell ANYTHING.

The window was open as it was hot and steamy and one excited young man with bad teeth thrust a baby rabbit at me. Easy tiger! I explained I didn't have a garden. No problem - into the box he goes again and brings out a little ratty creature which nearly jumps on my lap in through the window. I laughed but decided to hot foot outta there before I ended up with a puppy - of which there are many.

Am really sick today. Horrible icky food poisoning. So it rains outside and I try and sleep off the bug I have.

X

Stuff

A gorgeous escape to Mombasa.

Can I go swimming where I am?

The answer : We wouldn't recommend it. Sharks...and dead bodies....and sewage.

Never mind - the pool was great.

I get back to Nairobi - chaos on the roads, an overturned truck and traffic from the airport into the city.

I get a call (bearing in mind I have no phone here except an intercom).

"Miss - your car no good. Bugger I think. It's been hit, broken into etc.

Why?

It is VERY dirty....can I clean it?

Hmmmmn yeah ok. How much? 200 shillings. No. 100. OK Missy. I clean it now."

Now that is initiative eh?

x

AAAAAAAAAAAARGGGH DRIVING...

I got the car. Phew.

What with trying to not get lost and looking around, I keep driving into pot holes. Clunk clunk jaw clenching, wheel wrenching shocking drops and dips.

There are no rules at all. People stop at random in the middle of the road or at a roundabout. No joke. Or they cut you up or won't let you in or out.

I got lost, drove around two shopping malls, dropped a friend off somewhere and got totally lost again driving past some pretty dubious places...praying alternating with fk, fk -where am I ...turrets...bollx, ouch, shite -where am I? Please, please get me home in one piece without being car jacked, attacked, lost in some shanty town or the like.

Oh - not to mention that I got wheel clamped too today..

Grrrrgh. I should've paid (apparently) a few bob as they say here to some random bloke in a yellow jacket. I didn't know this and got sodding well clamped. First day in my new car. Anyway - it was remarkably easy to get it unclamped I have to say. Go pay, dude come up with a key and off you go..

Came back drenched in sweat.

Now I understand all those weird statues and talsimans people carry in cars - you need them cos road sense alone ain't any use.

Bless these new wheels of mine.

x

TIA

TIA

This is Africa.

That is the answer to anything that doesn't make sense.

I have given a job to girl from Zimbabwe to do some stuff at home for me when I move in. I see it as sponsorship as what I pay her will cover her school fees which she can't afford without a small job.

She is the eldest of 5. Her father died, her mum is HIV positive and she has to support her family from here. She's the niece of a friend of a friend. We met yesterday - she is a baby - 20 years old yet her dark eyes were full of the sorrow and desperation of those that have seen too much.

Whilst I am here and am able, I will help her. She is one of many that need help but helping this girl will help a whole generation in Zimbabwe.

The world is injust.